With Friends Like These
by Heichou's Pet
Summary: Do you really need enemies? 50 short drabbles featuring Levi, Hanji, and Erwin. Some are cute, some are funny, some are sad. All are short and all are part of the '1000 fanfic challenge' I'm working on. Rated M for some naughty language (Courtesy of Levi, as always)
1. 633- Poem

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Just a little side-project I'm working on, in-between chapters of 'Rebellion'. All are prompts from the '1000 fanfiction challenge'. Please RRE (Read, Review, Enjoy)!

**PS:** Not all of them will be as short as this first one.

**PSS:** YES, I label Hanji as FEMALE. Deal with it.

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**Prompt #633- Poem**

'_Roses are Red,_

_Violets are Blue._

_I hate you, you shitty four-eyes,_

_Go fuck yourself.'_

Hanji crinkled her nose at the slip of paper in her hand. After a night of drinking with Levi, they'd played a drunken game of poker and whoever lost would have to write something sweet for the other.

Needless to say, it was probably the most poetic thing she'd ever get out of the short man, and she was okay with it.


	2. 13- Address

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Omg! Yaoi! Not really, just hinting at Erwin being gay.

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**Prompt #13- Address**

Erwin looked at the slip of paper in his hands, double-checking it, and then triple-checking with the number on the building to make sure he'd gotten the right address. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat, gripping the bouquet of flowers tighter behind his back.

So this was the home of Humanity's Strongest, Levi… the commander of the Survey Corps had to admit the house was small and more run-down than anything he'd expect from the cleanliness-obsessed man. Weeds grew in the front lawn, in which the grass almost went up to his knees… and Erwin was far from being a small man, so he could only imagine how much the grass hid the other from view. The windows of the building were dirty and some where even cracked, and the gutters along the roof looked as if they hadn't been cleaned out in years. Definitely not the kind of upkeep he expected from the other man.

Something was wrong…

Taking a timid breath, he knocked on the door, his hands shaking with each movement towards the wood. He was nervous for more reasons than just one. He suspected something was going on because of the state of Levi's house, but also because he wasn't sure what to expect for the rest of the night. After years of working together, he'd finally worked up the courage to ask the corporal out to dinner…. And Levi had accepted, scribbling down his home address on a piece of paper before leaving his office earlier that day.

He heard footsteps from inside the house and his throat constricted again. He'd never felt so nervous in his life. His heart thudded along with each foot fall inside the house and in a fit of panic, he glanced at the piece of paper again, checking, for the eighth time, that he was at the right place.

'_Is that a seven or a one…? Dammit, that might be a seven, but it's a one on the house. Shit, shit shit!'_

His breath hitched as the door swung open, creaking long and slow as whomever was on the other side pulled the wood inward and… _oh god._

The state of the home inside was even worse than the outside was, and he was positive in that moment that he'd gotten the wrong address. Books were strewn everywhere in the one-bedroom building, along with clothes, both clean and dirty. Several tomes were sitting open on the desk where a Survey Corps jacket was thrown over the back of the chair. Dirty dishes sat on a table near the bed (Which wasn't made), alongside a… bra?

"Oh, hey Erwin!"

An all-too cheery, all-too feminine voice reached his ears. Hanji stood before him, a book half-closed in one hand with her thumb holding her place. She pushed her glasses further up her nose with her other hand, and Erwin felt his blood run cold.

This was the wrong address, even though the number on the paper matched perfectly with the one on the building. He had a feeling he'd been given the wrong address on purpose…

'_Damn you, Levi!' _


	3. 61- Baked Goods

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Levi has his quirks. He's short, he's obsessed with cleanliness, and I'd like to think he has a sweet tooth, as well.

**PS:** This could be seen as Levi x Petra, if you squint _reeeeallly_ hard. She's the only woman I ship Levi with, anyway.

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**Prompt #61- Baked Goods**

Levi didn't remember much from his childhood, from when he'd actually lived in a house and had a good life with his brother and parents who loved him and took care of him. He'd been extremely young when that had all been yanked away from him, after all. He did remember one thing, however.. Every year, on his and his brother's birthday, his mother would bake. And she wouldn't just stop at a cake. She made cakes and pies and cupcakes and cookies and brownies and bars… she made a whole feast out of just baked goods, and it would last their small family several weeks of tummy aches and satisfied sweet tooths.

It was probably what he missed most from his childhood. Unfortunately for him, a certain bespectacled brunette seemed to know this. She'd found out years ago that Levi had an affinity for baked goods, after he'd stared longingly at the cakes in a pastry shop window on their trip into the city. And ever since, she'd been trying desperately to lean to bake. Her attempts where charming, he had to admit, but most of the time she ended up doing more bad than good. The atrocities she conjured up in the kitchen were oftentimes more terrifying than her obsession with Titans. The black bricks she presented to him as 'cakes' did nothing but assault his nose with their awful burnt sugar smell, and je'd once bitten into a 'brownie' to find it tasted nothing like chocolate. Of course, cocoa was a scarce ingredient these days, so she'd substituted it for…. Something. He dreaded to think what.

But one snowy day in December he awoke to a delightful smell, coming from the kitchens of the Survey Corps HQ. He knew for a fact Hanji was at the capital, so it couldn't have been her messing around down there. Besides, nothing the four-eyes had ever baked smelled quite that good. The only other people in the building where his squad and the Titan brat, Eren. Perhaps one of them….?

The thought of Auruo, Eld, or Gunther trying to bake something was almost enough to make him laugh. He doubted the three of them even knew how to operate an oven. And it couldn't have been Eren. Being the lousy teenager that he was, he'd probably sleep till noon. Besides, he was locked in the dungeons, and Levi was the only one with a key. So that left only one person…

He crawled out of bed and quickly smoothed the sheets and blankets back into place. Deciding he'd shower after he ate something and had a cup of coffee, he pulled on a tank top that wouldn't clash _too_ terribly with his gray pajama bottoms (Even in lounge attire, he had to keep up the appearance of a respected corporal, after all), and made his way downstairs.

Petra looked up from the oven when she heard him approaching, a broad smile spreading across her petite features. "Good morning, captain! I hope you like blueberry muffins!"

"Good morning, Petra…" Levi only flinched a little at her cheeriness. How she managed to be that chipper so damn early in the morning, he'd never know. "As long as you're a better baker than that shitty four-eyes, blueberry muffins sound fine."

Great even, though he didn't say that part out loud. He sat and watched as she removed the tray of muffins from the oven and set them aside to cool while she made a pot of coffee. They smelled absolutely amazing, and his stomach growled lightly in protest, remembering he'd skipped dinner last night in lieu of finishing the stack of paperwork Erwin had dropped on his desk before leaving with Hanji for the capitol.

"I'll have three, if you don't mind." He said as Petra set a steaming cup of coffee in front of him on the table. Black, just how he liked it.

Petra obviously didn't mind, keeping her pleasant smile in place as she went to fetch the desired sweets for her captain. They were rather large, and the blueberries poking out of random places In the bread looked nearly as big as the buttons on his uniform's jacket. His mouth watered a bit as the woman plated them and brought them over to the table, along with something else that he was a bit surprised to see. A plate of butter. Butter, being another ingredient that was hard to get your hands on these days, was a welcome sight. He remembered watching his father put butter on blueberry muffins when he was a kid, and thinking it was absolutely disgusting, and then trying it himself and thinking it the best damn combination that ever existed. He gladly helped himself. Raising one of the muffins to his mouth, he took a bite…

And it reminded him of his mother's baked goods.


	4. 125- Chemistry

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is the shit my brain spews out at 3 in the morning. -_-

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**Prompt #125- Chemistry**

Though science had always been one of her greatest interests, it wasn't necessarily one of her strong suites. Aside from biology, that is. She could tell you the anatomy of a Titan inside and out, and her personal studies of live subjects had given her great insight into the behaviors and habits of Titans through various experiments. Ask her about the velocity of a horse running 20mph up a hill, however…. She'd stare at you with an expression as blank and clueless as her precious pet Bean.

One thing she liked to dabble in, however, was chemistry. And a certain Lance Corporal was her favorite guinea pig.

"Leeeeevviiiiiii~!" Waltzing into said corporal's office one fine sunny day, Hanji's eyes sparkled in delight at her newest creation. Levi, however, did not seem amused. His pen snapped in half in his hand, and he stared murderously at the ink blotches that now stained the document he'd been signing as well as his hand. Hanji didn't seem to notice, bounding over to his desk and grabbing him up, almost literally, out of his chair. "Come with me, Levi! I've got something I want you to try!"

He pushed her away, reaching into his desk drawer for a handkerchief to wipe his hands with. "I'm not drinking another one of your shitty potions… the last one nearly killed me, remember?"

"But Leeeeevviiiiiii…" Hanji whined, drawing his name out long enough to get him to hate it.

"What?"

"I know this one will work! I tried it on four separate mouse subjects, and only two of them died from it!"

He didn't seem convinced. Once his hands were cleaned, he threw the handkerchief in her face, discarded the ruined paper and pen in the wastebasket, retrieved a new pen, and resumed his seated position, trying to ignore her to the best of his abilities.

Unfortunately, he still hadn't mastered the ability of ignoring one Hanji Zoe.

"Pleeeeeeease? Please, please, pleeeeeease?"

"Why don't you go ask Erwin to be your test subject for once?"

Hanji shrugged. "He seemed really busy and I didn't want to bother him."

Levi almost stood up and punched her in the face. "And it looks like I'm not busy…?"

"Come on, I know you hate paperwork almost as much as you hate dirt. Wouldn't it be good to get away from it for an hour?"

He hated to admit it, but it did sound tempting.

"Besides…" Hanji stood up straighter, a mischievous grin splitting her face. "I know you for sure will be really interested in this potion…"

"Why's that?" Levi asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"Because, the two survivors of the mouse subjects are now twice their size."

Levi's hand froze, hovering an inch above another paper he'd pulled out of a stack at the corner of his desk.

"See? I knew you'd be interested~"

As it turns out, Hanji's specialty was NOT in chemistry, and the Survey Corps mourned the loss of their beloved Lance-Corporal, listed as another casualty of Hanji's experiments, and buried beside the millions of mice who had also lost their lives in this line of duty.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Dear LORD, wtf did I just write?! XD


	5. 190- Devotion

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Writer's block for my main story results in more chapters for this series!

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**Prompt #190- Devotion**

"It may seem like an absurd question, but it's something I need to know, especially at this crucial point in the Survey Corp's, and humanity's, storyline. Where we are now, I have a feeling we're getting closer to the final chapter. Closer to the end of our battle with the Titans. There are only a handful of the monsters left, but they are by far more fearsome than any aberrant we've encountered thus far. They may even surpass the Armored and Colossal Titans in might. So, it is with greatest trepidation that I ask you two this….Do I have your undivided loyalty and devotion to this cause?"

"I'm sad that all my precious potential test subjects are gonna be dead by the end of the week. I mean… sure, it's good news for humanity, but I was having so much fun! Maybe we could keep one alive, Erwin? Just for me? Please, please, pleeeeeeeasssee?"

"Ugh. Shut up already, shitty glasses…. It's not like you don't already know everything about the filthy creatures…. Erwin. If, after all these years, you still doubt my loyalty, then I think we have a bigger issue than a few Titans…"

The commander smiled. Neither of them had specifically answered his question with a 'yes', but he'd come to expect that much out of these two by now. And he felt foolish for asking such a question in the first place. Levi was right, they'd been working together for years. The three of them had literally been through almost everything together. They'd seen their comrades killed right before their eyes in some of the most gruesome ways possible and still never strayed from the path they-the Survey Corps- had been following since the beginning of the war.

He had no reason to doubt them. He knew they were as devoted to destroying the Titans and finally bringing peace to the ripped-apart remainder of humanity as he himself was. And that was all that mattered.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Go ahead and leave a review if you like these so far. :)


	6. 230- Endurance

**Prompt#230- Endurance**

Running laps wasn't anyone's idea of 'fun'. In fact, most members of the military, whether they be in the Trainees, the Survey Corps, the Garrison, or the Police, dreaded the early-morning runs that were a requirement five days of the week. But, it was important for each soldier to be at their peak of physical fitness, and running was the best way to build endurance.

The higher-ups weren't exempt from the runs, either. All the squad leaders, as well as Captain Levi and Commander Erwin, would join their subordinates every morning for fifty laps around the nearest track, training ground, or large building.

And no one liked running with those two.

Maybe it was because they were practically celebrities, and the mere mortals were afraid to trip over their own two feet and make fools out of themselves in front of them. Maybe it was because they were scared of being charged with insubordination if they dared to pass one of them on the track. But really, it was probably because they could never match up to those two, no matter how much they tried. They always felt like they were a disappointment to their superiors.

Erwin and Levi had God-like endurance. And, of course, the shorter man was known for his incredible speed. Every morning, they'd be out on the tracks before anyone else, already on their third or fourth lap. Levi likely a lap ahead of Erwin, but neither of them looking the least bit winded. By the time everyone else had gotten prepared and started their own laps, the two would likely be on lap ten, and still not looking tired. Barely even breathing heavily.

And then, Hanji, if she were anywhere in the vicinity, would join them. Usually a half an hour late (Later, they'd here captain Levi yelling at her, and the scientist's excuse was always that she'd been up late doing research), if Erwin and Levi were showing the other's up, then Hanji was downright making a joke out of them. As usual, she had enough energy to kill a Titan with her laugh alone. Within a matter of minutes, she'd caught up in laps to everyone else, and within another ten, she'd caught up to her friends in the lead.

But, unfortunately for her, her endurance matched that of the rookies. Once she'd finally caught up to Levi and Erwin, she'd become dead on her feet. She slowed down almost to a crawl. The others would pass her and eventually overlap her until she was in dead-last in the metaphorical race for superiority.

At twenty laps, the soldiers would be breathing heavily, their shirts drenched in sweat.

At thirty laps, several would be slowing down to a walk.

At forty laps, the only ones left running were the corporal and the commander, probably lapping in the nineties by now…

"How…. How the hell are they still going?" One would turn and whisper to another as they headed back inside after fifty laps. Back inside for a nice hot shower and breakfast.

The only one who knew how they were still going was Hanji, who would decide it was a great idea to curl up on the side of the worn-down dirt track to take a nap. Through her tired haze, she could hear the familiar voices, shouting the same things to each other every morning after everyone else had left.

"You're not going to beat me, Erwin. Give up!"

"Not yet, Levi…. Not until I beat your record. Just another… eighty laps!"

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **A little friendly competition makes the world go 'round. ^_^

Also, gonna try something a little different. Here's 3 Prompts. I want YOU guys to tell me which one you want to read next. The choices are: **Falling; Feel the Love;** or **Frailty, Thy Name is Woman!**

If no one comments, I'll just chose, but I'd like to cater this series to the readers. I want to write stuff that you guys want to read. So, thanks for reading! :)


	7. 289- Frailty, Thy Name is Woman!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **To **DulcetRequiem; **By the time I saw your review with the request for 'Feel the Love' first, I had already started on 'Frailty, thy Name is Woman!' Sorry. I'll do Feel the Love next, and Falling after that. :D

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**Prompt #289- Frailty, Thy Name is Woman!**

Hanji Zoe was an excellent soldier. Despite her eccentric personality, her ADD-like obsession with the Titans, and the fact that no one really took her seriously, she was a true asset to the Survey Corps. Her solo kill count was on the high end of the double digits, her skill with the 3D gear was exceptional, she could wield her swords like no other (Because, like everything about her, the way she used the thin blades was unique, almost weird), and above all else, she was a genius. She was one of the very few members of the Survey Corps, or any of the Military branches, who had attended University before becoming a soldier, majoring in Biology.

She was, at the very least, one of the Corps' top-ten most valuable soldiers.

There was just one thing that could stop her….

She was a woman, and, like all women, became an annoying, whiny piss-ant from hell one week each month (In Levi's words). During that week, she became the exact opposite of what she was most other days. She'd become reclusive, and seemed constantly in pain. Though, all the men had to agree, her strength seemed to increase tenfold, and this they knew because she became much more irritable during that week, and would become victims of her wrath.

But those moments of intense ferocity and strength were rare. Mostly, she was a mess. A pathetic, droopy, ugly mess. Levi's words again. And Levi hated messes.

Her favorite hobby during these weeks of weakness would be to flutter around Levi like a fly and complain about her cramps.

Levi would sigh and respond with the same line every time.

Frailty, thy name is woman.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Blaaah... not really happy with it. The idea struck me immediately upon seeing the prompt, but I don't think I executed it too well. And it _might_ just be a little sexist. But, being a woman, I certainly feel weak and breakable during... those times. "The Dark Days" XP

'Feel the Love' is coming up next.


	8. 262- Feel the Love

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The main reason I don't ship LeviHan is because I really see them more as a brother/sister relationship... (I know these types of relationships well, having 3 brothers of my own).

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**Prompt #262- Feel the Love**

Erwin was _not_ a father (That he knew of, at least).

But he sometimes felt like he was the father, and babysitter, of two overgrown, middle aged toddlers. He was always breaking up fights, settling arguments, and overall preventing his two best officers from slitting each other's throats.

"Eeek!" The brunette squealed, dodging the bottle of cleaning solution that had been hurled at her from across the room.

"For the last time, you disgusting piece of shit, clean your room. It's filthy as hell."

"Levi, language please." There goes the fatherly instincts again. The raven-haired man gave him a look.

"Do I look like a fucking child to you, Erwin?"

'_You and Hanji sure act like it often enough…' _He didn't speak the words aloud. If the Lance-Corporal where in a bad enough mood to be throwing his sacred cleaning supplies around like common rocks, he sure as hell didn't want to mess with him.

"Erwiiiiin, Levi's being mean to me!"

Both men gave her a look, similar to the one Levi had given the blonde just a moment ago. Only this one silently asked 'Are you a fucking child?'

"Well, maybe if you cleaned this pigsty every once in a while, I wouldn't have to be mean to you, shithead."

"Levi… language."

"Erwin… shut up."

Hanji gasped. "Gosh, Levi! You're sure in a pissy mood today!"

"He's always like that.." Erwin sighed, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms.

"Sure, don't say anything about _her _language."

"I didn't fucking say anything bad!" Hanji countered, glaring daggers down at the man.

"You just fucking did!"

"Levi… language."

"Fuck you, Erwin!"

From the doorway of Hanji's bedroom, Eren Jeager and Jean Kirchstein had stood and watched the entire scene before them unfold. Jaws slack and eyes slightly widened, the two boys shifted uncomfortably on their feet while the higher-ups continued to argue. Jean tugged at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling too warm, because he knew they'd get in trouble if they were caught staring, even though they'd accompanied the corporal there and all three of the adults knew of their presence.

"It's… kinda hard to believe they're friends…" Eren mumbled, hefting the water pail higher in his hand.

"I can feel the love…" Jean agreed sarcastically, and both boys shared eye contact before dropping their cleaning supplies and making a run for it.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'Falling' is the next Prompt I'll work on. I'm gonna try to make it longer and it'll be more serious in nature. Thanks for reading!


	9. 346- Hiccups

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've been a little lax on my updates for this and 'Rebellion' lately, and for that I apologize. X_X

Here, have something random.

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#346- Hiccups

Erwin Smith was a well-composed man. His hair was always perfectly groomed. He rarely let his facial hair grow past anything more than a little stubble. He was always professional with the other soldiers of the Scouting Legion, ever the picture of a leader that demanded respect. His tactics were sound, his invention of the Long-Distance Scouting Formation having preserved many lives while on missions outside the walls. And, while it was rarely seen, his skill with the 3DMG and his ability to slay Titans was second only to Levi's. He even surpassed the child prodigy, Mikasa Ackerman.

But there was an event that was so rare, the only one to ever have witnessed it was one Hanji Zoe, and that was because he'd come pounding at her lab door late one night, begging for a way to put an end to it.

When Erwin had had a little to drink, no matter what it was or how much he had, he got the hiccups. And they weren't the kind of sound you'd ever expect to come out of a man of Erwin's stature. They were more the type of sound you'd expect to come out of a child; someone the Lace-Corporal's size or smaller, but even the new girls on Levi's squad, recent graduates of the 104th trainee group, had manlier sounding hiccups than the Scouting Legion's commander did. It was quite an embarrassing predicament, and was the cause behind him rarely ever drinking. But, sometimes he gave in to peer pressure….

Hanji leaned back in the chair she'd dragged into Erwin's office, stretching her hands, which still clasped her third empty glass of whiskey, above her head. She, Erwin and Levi were celebrating, though in a much more reserved fashion than the rest of the Legion was in the dining hall downstairs. They'd just returned from a mission outside the walls, and the entirety of the military branch only suffered a dozen or so casualties. While the deceased would be mourned the next day, and missed by those that knew them for the rest of their lives, tonight was a night for celebration. Today had been a success. The three friends had retreated to the commander's office upon the startup of the party with a few bottles of choice alcoholic beverages.

Half-empty glass bottles of Bourbon, Rum, Whiskey, Triple Sec, and Vodka littered Erwin's desk, and each of the participants had a few glasses in front of them, each having already downed enough to result in slurred speech, foggy vision, and reduced good judgment. Erwin had been reserved at first, insisting to the other two that he could have just as much fun with a glass of water, but they'd coerced him into it eventually, and now he sat slightly slumped in his chair, his perfect hair slightly mussed, and his bolo tie hanging loose around his neck. Each had removed their jackets over the time they'd been in the room, but Erwin had gotten to the point where he couldn't even hang it over the back of his chair like the other two had. It was crumpled on the floor behind him, much to Levi's chagrin ("_It's gonna get all wrinkly…"_ ).

"So, Erwin…." The raven-haired man spoke up, combining bourbon, rum, and triple sec in his glass to create some form of concoction that tasted like hell, but got him drunker quicker and so he didn't care. "All of our missions are gonna be this successful from now on…. Right?"

When Erwin didn't speak up right away, it gave Hanji an opportunity to butt-in as she reached for the whiskey again. "Yeah! Our casualties were cut in half, at least! I think it was all thanks to your new formation!"

Erwin still didn't respond, but instead glanced nervously between the other two, his blue eyes clouded over in a bit of panic.

Levi quirked an eyebrow. "Erwin… you okay?"

No response.

Hanji leaned forward in her chair, eyeing the commander close. "Erwin? Hellloooooo~?"

There was a few moments of tense silence as the blonde had a staring match with the others, keeping his mouth clamped shut. It looked like he was holding his breath, his face turning pink with the strain of keeping air in his lungs.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Levi growled, slamming his fist down on the desk.

After what seemed like an eternity, he got a reply. Erwin couldn't hold his breath any longer, and let the air he was holding out in a large huff. Mere seconds later, his shoulders jerked and a small, high-pitched sound reverberated around the room.

_*hic*_

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By the way, if you enjoy my stories, go give my facebook page a like. It's called 'Heichou's Pet', obviously. XP

Thanks for reading! If you've got any suggestion for what you want to see next, let me know with a review. :)


	10. 272- Flavor

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is just... omg. XD

Also, it's Modern-day AU, which I don't do very often. I just figured it would be better for this... absurd little idea I had, however. Enjoy!

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#272- Flavor

"Ahhh~ It's so nice out today!" Hanji lay back on her beach towel, adjusting the prescription sunglasses on her nose before folding her arms underneath her head. It was rare to get a day off at the law firm she and her two companions worked at, especially when the weather outside was so glorious, and so she'd dragged the two men to the beach for a day of fun. Plus, it was a good excuse to wear the new bikini she'd bought the other day, it being the most magnificent thing she'd ever seen. The top had a graphic of two boarish, dead-looking eyes, and the bottoms had a large, grotesque mouth. She'd deemed the creature on the swimsuit a 'Titan', and blatantly admitted she wished she could wear it every day.

"It is nice, indeed." Erwin mused. The large blonde man sat in the sand next to Hanji's towel, looking like he was anything but comfortable. It was a bit amusing, to say the least. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Smith in anything other than a business suit, but here he was in all his well-built glory, wearing nothing but a pair of red swim trunks. Despite this, the older man already had a bit of a tan. Hanji had to wonder if he occasionally hit up the booths at the salon down the street from their work.

"Hey. Where did Levi go?"

"He said he was going to get something to drink, but that was ten minutes ago…" Erwin scowled, looking at the watch around his wrist. He'd opted out of his usual Rolex today for a cheaper, likely waterproof one. "I wonder what's taking him…"

"Yeah, he needs to hurry up. I'm thiiiiirstyyyy." Hanji groaned the last word, clutching her arms tightly around herself.

"Then go get your own damn drink, shitty specs."

Hanji perked up at the new intrusive voice, craning her neck back to look behind her as Levi approached. If seeing Erwin in a pair of swim trunks was weird to her, seeing _Levi_ in a pair of swim trunks was like hell freezing over. They were black, of course. Just like his heart. But there they were. She had no idea how she ever convinced these two stiffs to come with her to the beach.

Levi took a seat on the towel placed next to Hanji's, and reached over her to hand one of the two cups he was holding to Erwin. "I heard everyone over by the concession stands talking about how great these snow cones were… so I figured I'd get them instead of actual drinks. Hope you don't mind, Erwin."

"Not at all, Levi." The blonde tipped the cup back, sipping at some of the excess juice underneath all the shaved ice before taking the red plastic spoon that stuck out of it and scooping some into his mouth. "I've always enjoyed snow cones myself. Ever since I was a child."

Hanji watched the exchange, sitting up and glancing between the two men on either side of her. Her expression grew more and more desperate each time her eyes made a lap between the two. "W-whaaat? None for me?"

"You didn't ask for anything." The black-haired man retorted, munching lightly on the flavored ice.

"B-b-but….. Leeeevvviiiiiiiiiiii!"

She was whining again. She liked to do that whenever she didn't get her way. Especially when it came to Levi because she knew it annoyed the piss out of him.

"Shut up."

She continued to whine, and watched as the two men ate their snow cones in silence. Erwin's was red, she could see it clearly through the plastic cup. She wondered what flavor it was. Cherry? Strawberry? Fruit Punch? Her mouth watered at the thought. Levi had a blue one. Blue Raspberry? She was flat out drooling now. Blue raspberry was the best flavor for anything ever!

She stared at the fruity frozen treats until Levi realized he was being watched, and glared daggers in her direction.

"What?"

She gave the sweetest smile she possibly could, clasping her hands in front of her in a pleading motion. "Pleeeeeeeeeeaaassssseeeee?"

"No. Go get your own."

Erwin looked at his companion around the brunette's shoulders. "Levi, you know Hanji never brings her own money anywhere…"

"Yeah, it's all a scam to get me to buy her shit."

Hanji gave the most innocent bat of the eyes she could muster. Levi growled and shoved his cup into Hanji's hand. "Fine. I'll get you a fucking snow cone. Don't you dare eat mine!"

And with that, he was up and gone again. Hanji hummed happily as she twirled Levi's cup in her hands, occasionally bringing it to her lips to sip at the blue liquid, and shooting glances at Erwin that said she'd perform experiments on his car again if he dare told the other man.

Erwin sighed, squinting through the sun and the sea of people to the concessions booths about twenty meters down the beach. He could see Levi waiting in line at the snow cone stand, and though he was too far away to make out any emotion on the short man's face, he could tell he was pissed off to have to be over there again. He turned his attention to the ocean for a bit, watching children splash in the water close by the shore, and the teenage couples making out in the waves further away. Ah, to be young again.

Again turning back to look towards the snow cone stand, he saw the Levi was in the middle of a purchase, and once he had snow cone in hand, he disappeared behind the booth.

'_What is he doing…?'_

"Mmm! I hope Levi's getting me a blue raspberry one!" Hanji sang, continuing to sip at the blue one in her hand. As if on queue, Levi reemerged from behind the booth, snow cone in hand, and made his way back over to them.

Hanji waved upon seeing their friend return. "Leeeevviiiiiiii~! Hurry up! I'm thirsty!"

"Shut up already." The raven-haired man mumbled as he took his seat again and traded cups with Hanji, glaring at the lower level of liquid that was in his. Less than was there before he'd left.

Hanji eyed the yellow snow cone she'd been handed, pondering what kind it could possibly be.

"What's wrong, shitty glasses? Eat it."

A blonde eyebrow rose at this, Erwin wondering why Levi was suddenly so eager for Hanji to have her own snow cone to eat, when just a few minutes prior he'd probably been wishing death upon the woman for making him go and get it for her.

"What flavor is it, Levi?"

The other hesitated for a minute, and Erwin didn't miss the malicious smirk that crept across his lips for a split second.

"It's…. _lemon_."

Hanji seemed delighted. "Well, lemon is my second favorite flavor, so I can deal with not having blue raspberry! Thanks Levi!"

Acting quickly, Erwin snatched the snow cone away from his unsuspecting coworker, dumping it into the sand behind them. Hanji deflated and started pouting, and Levi gave him a look that would cause Erwin's head to spontaneously combust if looks could kill.

"Hanji…. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to eat yellow snow?" Erwin sighed, handing her his own snow cone as a replacement. She seemed satisfied enough, however, so she took it without comlaint.

"And Levi…. I'll have a word with you later." With that, he stood and made his way down the beach to enjoy some time in the water.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I love Hanji and Levi. XD

If you like this, or if you thought it was abhorently disgusting, please leave a review! Also be sure to 'like' my Facebook page, 'Heichou's Pet'. I post many lovely pictures, and links to amazing fanfictions, as well as updates to my own works! Thanks for reading!


	11. 292- Fudge

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I wrote this a while ago, just haven't gotten around to uploading it 'till now. I liked it, so hopefully you guys do, too!

**PS: **It's meant as a continuation of 'Baked Goods', where Rivetra was NOT implied... it's definitely implied here.

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#292- Fudge

AKA: Baked Goods pt. 2

Since Petra had discovered her captain's weakness for sweets, she'd gone out of her way to shower him in them whenever she could. She baked muffins or made blueberry pancakes for him every morning, always served with butter when she could get her hands on it. More than half of her soldier salary was saved up to buy little treats for him, whether it be a scone from the café in town or the finest red velvet cupcakes that could be purchased in the walls. All just to see him smile and give his thanks. She was smitten with that rare smile of his, and felt privileged to see it almost on a daily basis. She knew no one else did.

He sometimes questioned her about her intentions behind spoiling him, and oftentimes tried to reject her gifts, but upon seeing her downtrodden look caused by such rejections, he would grab the giftwrapped box from her and retreat to his room, where she knew he eventually caved and enjoyed the sweets. She never really explained to him why she spent most of her money on him, but rumors (Could they really be considered rumors if they were true?) soon spread that she had feelings for him. She couldn't deny them, and really wouldn't care if word reached the captain's ears.

One of his favorite things she bought him at times was fudge. Cocoa was an extremely rare ingredient, and so fudge wasn't cheap. At all. She couldn't afford to get it for him often, but when special occasions such as Holidays or Birthdays came up, she'd make sure she'd saved enough to buy him a box of the delectable treasures.

He loved them. Of course, he'd never admit he enjoyed the fudge beyond anything other than a smile and a thank you, but Petra would find the box missing a few pieces every day for the next week until they were gone completely. She knew he only ate a piece or two a day to make them last longer, so he could savor them over a greater period of time. She adored the fact that she could give him something he loved so much, especially since she couldn't give him herself….

He always looked forward to the times when she would bring him fudge. Anything else, he'd try to turn down, telling himself that it wasn't right for his soldier to spend a good portion of her earnings on him. Not to mention, though he enjoyed the sweets, he knew too much of them weren't good for the body, and he could only do so many laps around the HQ before he started getting squishy. Not to mention your metabolism slowed down with age. But when Petra brought the box of fudge around, he couldn't resist. Not only because he knew the treats were expensive as all hell, but because they were the best things he'd ever tasted.

She always got him a variety of flavors. Dark chocolate fudge with blackberry jam swirls, milk chocolate sprinkled with pecans and drizzled in caramel, white chocolate fudges with either peanut butter, mint, or maple flavorings… he loved them all. And he loved that Petra was the one to present them to him. It made it… that much more special. He loved having her give it to him, especially if he couldn't have her herself…

But one day, the presents stopped coming. There was no more fudge, no more cupcakes or cookies, and not even blueberry pancakes in the morning anymore. Those fond times were crushed underneath the female Titan's foot. The happy memories of when she would nervously approach him the hall or show up at his office door with her face red as a cherry were bent in an unnatural angle and broken. The good mood that was associated with these memories was splattered and smudged, like blood over a lifeless face.

It was three months after the expedition where his entire squad was wiped out that Levi found himself with some rare downtime. He and Erwin were visiting the capital for a meeting among the higher-ups of the three military branches, but the meeting was not until the next morning and so he was left to his own devices in the interior city. With some spare money and nothing else to do, he browsed the front windows of the ritzy shops, not caring if people stared at him and made snarky comments to each other behind his back. It was no secret that normal civilians had despicable thoughts about the Scouting Legion, and the wealthy inhabitants of Sina were by far the worst. Not only did they mutter about how the Legion was a waste of tax money, but he even heard the occasional jab at his height. Typical rich pigs.

He ignored them to the best of his ability, though his patience had had a short fuse as of late. Worse than usual. He'd even snapped at Erwin over something incredibly stupid on their way to the inner wall this morning.

Though a pleasant smell wafting through the air from a shop nearby made him forget such troublesome details. It was an all-too familiar scent that brought happy memories back to life. Without giving it a second thought, he entered the small confectioner's store and made his way to the counter, where a glass case displayed all the different fudge up for sale. He shoved his wallet across to the elderly man standing there, telling him to take as much money as was needed for a piece of each flavor. When he had his treasure packaged and in his hands (It had taken an ungodly amount of time), he thanked the man and left without another word.

He'd recognized it just from the scent of the fresh pieces the man had been putting on display upon his entrance. This was the exact fudge that Petra had always presented him with on special occasions. The fudge that was the only sweets from her he'd never even considering rejecting, though they'd drained his wallet a significant amount and he could only imagine the damage it had done to Petra's. This was the fudge he'd dreamed of sharing with her, of having her taste its desirableness with him. To have her experience that with him and just to witness the warm smile that always lit up her face and his life when she enjoyed it. This is the fudge he'd order by the carriage load for their wedding…

He made sure he was out of sight down an alleyway between two buildings before he let himself slow down. With trembling hands, he unwrapped the box, looking at the chocolate pieces laid out in perfect order on the paper wrappers. Did he dare bring one to his mouth to taste? Would he be able to hold himself together if the memories of the golden-haired woman came crashing back? The sunshine of his life, though he was never able to express his feelings to her. These small pieces of fudge where all he had left to remember her by, not even having a proper grave to visit when he was feeling lonely. This was literally the only thing…

He felt his lungs constrict in his chest, tears stringing at his eyes as he brought a piece of his favorite, plain dark chocolate, to his mouth. He was salivating before the treat even reached his lips, and his mind traveled back to his former subordinate, wondering what her lips would have tasted like against his own… his mouth probably would have watered in just the same way.

When he bit into the fudge, he couldn't hold them back anymore. The tears fell freely. It was the first time he'd cried in over half a decade. He'd grown so cold and unattached to the world around him that the last time he'd shed tears was when he'd lost his dear friends to the Titans less than a year after they'd all joined the Legion. This felt like back then. The agony that came with the loss of someone you cared for deeply was etched deep into his heart. He couldn't deny the words he'd been refusing to say, or even think for so long. He'd loved her. He'd loved everything about her. From the way she smiled at him in the morning, to the way her hair fell elegantly over her shoulders. From the skill with which she slaughtered titans, to these damn pieces of fudge she liked to present him with.

He fell to his knees, refusing to take another bite. He put the piece of candy back in the box and closed it, letting the taste linger on his lips like the kiss from a lover he'd never had the chance to experience. He choked, bringing a hand to his chest and clutching at the fabric of his shirt directly over his heart, as if that could stifle the unending pain he felt. But he knew nothing would help. And he knew he could never bring himself to eat the fudge again, not if it hurt this much to remember the woman who had first bestowed them upon him.

He hid the box underneath his arm to carry as he made his way back to the Inn he and Erwin were spending the night at, and if anyone, even his commander, asked him about his eyes being red and slightly puffy, he'd tell them to fuck off. He may be Humanity's strongest, but even he could hurt. Even he had emotions. Even he, the cold-heart bastard that everyone saw him as, could cry and mourn the death of the woman he loved, even if it was just over a box of fudge.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Blaaah. Endings suck. I suck. I suck at writing endings...

AAAAANYWAY... A couple things:

**1)** Be sure to leave a review! Reviews mean more updates because they're really what inspire me. It's good to know people are reading and enjoying my stories. :3

**2)** If you want (No one's forcing you... *Holds you at gunpoint and forces you*), go on over and give my Facebook page a 'like'. I'd really appreciate it. :)

**3)**I NEED SOME HELP! I'm gonna start a drabble series of Rivetra, because writing a couple drabbles for them... I've fallen in love. They're really the only hetero couple that I ship... I need help coming up with a title, however! Give me some ideas! :)

As always, thanks for reading! ^_^


	12. 252- Falling

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This prompt was a long time coming. I promised I would write it a while ago, but never got around to it. Oops.

It might be obvious here, but I don't write in first person that often. I like exploring new things for my lovely readers, though. :)

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Promp #252- Falling

I always knew it could happen… I just never expected it to happen to me.

The Three-Dimensional Maneuver Gear, though one of mankind's most innovative creations, wasn't perfect in any sense. It was prone to malfunctions and every set had to undergo thorough checks and tests to assure it was in proper working order before it was used. Double checks if the gear was being used in a Scouting Legion mission outside the walls.

My gear had been checked by both myself, and the official examiners who, as an offshoot of the Garrison, constantly worked with the 3DMG to improve and revolutionize it. They knew it inside and out, and had given me the thumbs up upon inspecting mine.

So then, how come the hooks failed to launch just when I needed them?

It was the 58th expedition outside the walls… we'd just come across a few Titans and, though we managed to avoid conflict with most of them thanks to our Long-Range Scouting Formation, we couldn't avoid them all. They somehow broke through the flanks and made their way to the forward center, where my squad was. We had to engage.

For having made it all the way to the middle of our Formation, not to mention that they came from the east, and would therefore have had to snuck past or defeated Levi's squad (I knew it had to be the former, as the latter just couldn't be true), these Titans were relatively easy to beat. They were _huge_, though… At least they seemed far larger than 15 meters.

And it was just when I was about to grapple to the last Titan after jumping off the head of the falling giant I had just killed, that my gear made an odd clicking sound, and didn't activate. A jolt of panic shot through my heart upon realizing that something had gone wrong, and I couldn't believe it. I'd checked the gear myself before we left, after all, and it had been in perfect working order!

This was bad. Extremely bad. I was up high enough that a fall from this height would do some serious damage, if not kill me. I was too heavy and large a man for anyone to save me using their own gear. And even had I been smaller, there was nothing save for the last Titan for my potential savior to hook onto.

I was no stranger to the feeling of falling. I'd been with the Military since I was thirteen years old, after all, training with and using the 3Dgear nearly every day since then. I'd had my fair share of spills from various heights. But this was different. I knew I likely wouldn't wake up a couple days later in the infirmary this time.

I could hear my subordinate's screams as they watch me fall. I vaguely notice the last Titan fall along with me, a large chunk from the nape of its neck missing, but the feeling in my stomach-that tickly feeling like it has evacuated my body and was still up in the sky somewhere- was so overwhelming I didn't register who had killed it. I felt the need to vomit, or scream, or shed a tear as I felt the end of my life creep up closer and closer with the ground below me.

Or maybe I should shed a tear because this is a pathetic way for a commander of the Scouting Legion to die. You'd expect me to get devoured by a Titan while leading my men in a mission that could propel humanity further towards victory over the giants, not by falling off of one when my gear malfunctions to wind up a splatter on the grass. It was…. Sad.

The shouts and screams from my comrades on the ground are getting louder now, and if I peeled my eyes opened and looked I'd be able to see the horrified expressions on their faces. Why did everything seem to be going in slow motion? It was embarrassing enough to die like this, but fate had to drag it out for me longer than it should have.

But I'd never let my men see my fear. Even in this situation, I'd stay the stoic and proud leader they'd all seen me as. I remained calm, even as the ground grew near enough that I could smell the dirt freshly turned by horse hooves and giant's feet. My expression remained serene even as my body slammed into the earth, and everything ended.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Wasn't sure how to end it there, but hopefully it's good enough! Feed my need for feedback, please! I love hearing from you guys.

And, as always, thanks for reading!


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